Fulfilling Relationships: The Role of Intimacy
Psychologist Erik Erikson believed that the issue of intimacy was key to development in early adulthood. Research on close relationships shows us that intimacy remains an issue throughout life.
The connection between intimacy and self-fulfillment works in two ways. Feeling high levels of fulfillment and a strong sense of identity can give you the grounding that you need to understand and know your own feelings before you share those feelings with others. But it's also true that once you feel comfortable in a long-term relationship you can use that as a jumping off point for expressing your true self in pursuits that are close to your heart.
People who are unable to establish close relationships with others (what Erikson called "isolation") tend to have other problems in their life. One of the participants in my study, who I call "Jonathan," was unable to express intimacy. His low intimacy potential took its toll on other aspects of his life, even though he had risen to the top echelons of national and international politics and had alternated between highly prestigious and well-paid consultancy positions and brief periods in private think-tank enterprises. Eventually his feelings of inner loneliness caused him to question and doubt his life's accomplishments.
Fortunately, it's possible to find fulfillment even if you are struggling with intimacy. As you read about the Action Plans you can gain insight into how to find a more fulfilling life pathway-- and your intimacy issues may improve as a result.
*All names and identifying details in this study have been changed or compilations made of several people to protect the anonymity and confidentiality of the participants.
